Something must be done by the NRL to stop fans from seeing an almost constant stream of logic-defying incidents in the greatest game of all.

With the advent of television, fans at home have been offered a greater insight into what is happening on the rugby league field. With an increase in the number of cameras at grounds and high definition screens and broadcasts, people are more able than ever to see up close every bounce of the ball, every tackle and every breach of the rules. If they missed it the first time, there are countless replays from every angle and at every speed.

Yet every week we are being told that our eyes might not be correctly wired to our brains. Whether it be a blatant double movement that we are told was actually momentum, or a good pass that we are told was actually forward or a knock back that the referee determines was a knock-on, it is clear that high definition does not come with built in logic.

Now we find that it is not only the bunker and referees making us question our visual comprehension, but the players themselves.

After watching Gold Coast Titans captain Kevin Proctor chomp down on Cronulla Sharks’ half Shaun Johnson’s arm, we were told by both players that our eyes had failed us yet again. Proctor closing his mouth around the flesh of Johnson’s arm, which was being shoved down his throat at the time, was not a bite at all. Proctor and his legal team headed off to the NRL Judiciary to enlighten them. The three-man panel had to look at the video evidence in the same way fans have been watching their televisions, knowing fully that they couldn’t rely on their eyes to tell them the truth.

Unfortunately for Proctor, the panelists were old school footballers, quite proud of their remaining eyesight and cognitive skills. Bob Lindner, Ben Creagh and Sean Garlick could not be convinced that Proctor’s bite was something else altogether. Until these three can be employed in the bunker, the fans need something else to help them through this nightmare.

The only solution to this increasingly painful problem is to use a bipassed technology, one that could have existed as televisions advanced from black and white picture tubes to full colour – sub-standard definition or SSD. Don’t worry, you can keep your 8k or 4k super high definition televisions, it will be up to the broadcasters to send you the grainy, blurry signal. Watching the footy sober will be the same as watching it after two dozen schooners. You’ll see the shapes of players and the colour of their jerseys, you’ll just be able to make out the ball and the general gist of what is going on, but you’ll be spared all the super fine and often confusing detail.

You’ll be able to see the score in the corner of your screen and that’s all you really need, you don’t have to know whether the player on the other team actually grounded the ball or knocked it on. If the bunker says it was a try, SSD will save you the anguish of trying to reconcile that call with what your eyes actually saw.

Unfortunately SSD will have to be broadcast without commentary. It is pretty clear that those guys have absolutely no idea what is going on out on the field either and they are watching it live through binoculars!

Until this old technology can be introduced, fans will have to resort to the two dozen schooners, or, at the very least, squirt lemon juice in their eyes just before kick off.