We have a lot to thank the English for; exploration, colonisation, industrialisation, the royal family, the union jack on our flag, big fried breakfasts, gammon and most recently and importantly the salvation of Test cricket. England have arrived in Australia to once again rescue the Ashes series, which was virtually unwatchable before a coach from New Zealand introduced Bazball to the cricketing world. The ever-attacking style, the envy of national teams the world over, was trotted out again in front of a sell-out crowd for the First Test in Perth.

England won the toss and made the only decision possible, they would bat and they would go hard. The crowd buzzed with anticipation as they realised they were about to witness Bazball live, in all its glory. 

Ben Duckett and Zak Crawley strode to the middle with all the confidence of Cook and Banks stepping ashore at Botany Bay. Just like Cook, Crawley didn’t like what he saw and sent an edge straight to Usman Khawaja off the last ball of Mitchell Starc’s first over. The entertainment had begun. Duckett and Ollie Pope put on 33 runs from just 5.4 more overs before Duckett was struck in front from a full Starc delivery. England’s best ever batsman Joe Root was set to end his century drought in Australia, but instead edged Starc to Marnus Labuschagne in the slips for a seven-ball duck. Harry Brook, the poster boy for Bazball and a batsman who set fire to the text book, was next in and he set about rebuilding the England innings, with all the concern that the 3/39 scoreline demanded. He lost Pope and Ben Stokes as he slashed his way to an innings topping 52 off 61 balls. Captain Stokes glared at the pitch after he was inexplicably bowled through the gate by Starc for an entertaining 6 runs.

Australia were well on top, which meant just one thing, England had to start swinging harder and more often. It worked a treat as the last four wickets fell for a very entertaining 12 runs, England totalling 172 runs off just 33 overs.

Australia were set to take control of the Test, but had to promote Labuschagne to open with debutante Jake Weatherald, as Khawaja had strained his back whilst sitting on the toilet, after a round of golf. Reports from the sheds were foggy, but what was definitely clear was that he had been off the field too long to bat so soon. 

Weatherald fell to the ground as the second thunderbolt from Joffra Archer crashed into his pad. The ball had been a blur to the umpire who signalled not out, before the DRS confirmed an ignominious start to the Territorian’s Test career. Steve Smith joined his biggest fan in the middle and together they batted like a couple of wingless flies atop a BBQ grill. The heat was on, the England bowlers were ferocious and as stumps was called Australia’s innings was in tatters at 9/123 after 39 overs. 

The Perth crowd had spent a large portion of their day watching batsmen walk on and off the field. Fans of fast bowling had been thoroughly entertained, people holding Day 3 tickets were making alternative plans.

Nathan Lyon and Brendan Doggett started Day 2 at the crease and added another nine runs before Lyon fell. England held a 40-run first innings lead, proving once and for all the superiority of their methods. All they had to do now was Bazball the First Test out of Australia’s reach over the next couple of days on the improving Perth pitch. Enter Crawley and Duckett and exit Crawley to an incredible caught and bowled effort from Starc, once again in his first over (perhaps Duckett should face that first over in Brisbane). Duckett and Pope put on a promising 66-run stand, Root improved to tally eight runs and Brook discovered that luck is not necessarily a batsman’s best weapon, as his clearly ran out just three balls into his second dig. The bowlers were left to flail the willow in building a solid 204-run lead. Surely that was enough on this Day 2 pitch.

Cometh the hour, cometh the Head. With  Khawaja now confirmed to be suffering back spasms, rather than issues further south, Travis Head put his hand up to open the innings with Weatherald. What ensued was one of the greatest displays of Bazballesque batting ever witnessed. Head fearlessly dispatched the England pacemen to all parts of Optus Stadium. He thrilled, he enthralled and he most certainly entertained on his way to 123 runs off 83 balls, finally answering the question of who should permanently replace Khawaja at the top of the Australia order, starting in Brisbane. 

Australia wrapped up the First Test before the western sun set on Day 2. The convincing eight-wicket victory extending England’s 15- year Test drought in Australia, while leaving a potential 150,000 live Perth fans out in the cold and denying millions more the joy of listening to David Warner’s commentary for three more days.

What has become abundantly clear is that two innings per team is not nearly enough to occupy the five days that these Test venues are being booked for. The MCC owes it to cricket lovers everywhere to change the rules to allow England at least three innings in which to entertain. It would give Duckett another opportunity to charge the opening bowlers, his little trotters sweet-stepping down the pitch like a shrunken Baryshnikov. Crawley a shot at carving his way to a triple-duck,  Brook a chance to again swing his bat like a drunken five-year-old wielding a plastic light sabre. England’s greatest ever batsman Root would be given a third dig to chase his maiden century in Australia, and Stokes another inspiring  captain’s knock

Changes simply have to be made. The current format is robbing the public of so much entertainment.